To Write or Not to Write: Choosing Your Wedding Vows

At You Had Me At I Do, we’ve seen every kind of couple – from the wildly romantic to the wonderfully practical – and every kind of vow you can imagine. One of the biggest questions we get during planning is: “Should we write our own vows?”

The short answer? You absolutely can – but you absolutely don’t have to.

Some couples love the idea of writing their own vows. It gives them the chance to speak from the heart in their own words, to say things only they can say. For others, that kind of spotlight is just… not their thing. And that’s totally okay. Reciting traditional vows or repeating after your officiant can be just as meaningful and emotional. There’s no right or wrong answer – just your answer.

If You Do Want to Write Your Own Vows…
Here’s a tip from someone who’s heard hundreds: don’t try to be anyone else. Don’t stress about being the funniest or the most poetic or the most Pinterest-perfect. Instead, write your vows as if you were writing a note to your fiancé.

Think about why you love them. What makes your relationship unique? What have you been through together, and what are you looking forward to building? Picture handing them a letter before your wedding – what would it say?

That’s the heart of it.

And If You Don’t Want to Write Your Own…
That’s perfect, too. We can work together to find vows that feel right – whether it’s a classic exchange, something spiritual or secular, or just a simple “I do.” What matters isn’t the exact words – it’s the meaning behind them.

Whether you’re a natural wordsmith or more of a “let’s keep this simple” kind of couple, your ceremony will reflect you. And that’s what makes it unforgettable.

Need help deciding? Want a little guidance or inspiration? I’ve got your back. That’s what You Had Me At I Do is here for.